What’s Stopping You From Becoming Who You Want To Be? with Craig Siegel

How Do You Take Those Initial Steps When Feeling Stuck?

Dr. Tabatha: Most of my patients are 45 to 50 years old. They’ve done all the things. They’ve acquired the house, family, and the job and now they’re like, “I don’t even want this anymore.” 

Craig: Ultimately you have to know in your soul and in your heart that you want more. If you can acknowledge that, that’s a great start.

One suggestion I can make is, to think of the highest quality version of you that could potentially exist. What would that person be doing? What would their behaviors pay? What would their thoughts be? How would they act? What would they be doing from a success standpoint? Ask yourself those questions and chase that version of you each and every single day. 

When you wake up, and you have those moments, where you don’t feel like doing something or you want to procrastinate, just remember, you have an opportunity to model the best version of yourself. If you chase that version of yourself relentlessly, the best version of you that could exist, that could really make an impact on this world, each and every day, eventually, you’re going to become that person. You’re going to make a major impact which will obviously leave a ripple effect and a legacy. 

If you want to do something, but don’t even know where to start, start by journaling. Get creative and think about what the best version of you might do and how might they act. Then, once you have that target because you can’t hit a target you can’t see, then you can constantly work in stride to become that best version of yourself each and every day.

Dr. Tabatha: I remember being super sleep-deprived. I was up delivering babies all night and thinking, “I want to run, be in shape, become a morning person, and have time for myself.” I said to my assistant, “I want to drink coffee while I see patients like I want this life.” Once I started writing it down and verbalizing it into the universe, and like you said, acting it out every single day with my decisions, it happened. Here I am two years later and I am that person. I get up at 4:30 in the morning, I work out, I drink coffee while I see patients, and do awesome podcasts interviews. I like totally manifested it. 

You have time to work out and have sex with your husband. Then you have a couple of hours to connect with God, journal, or do whatever you want to do before the kids wake up or the patients start. That is the only time that I’ve been able to carve out for myself and it works out amazing. 

Craig: It’s important that you just mentioned that because let’s be honest, everybody could wake up a little bit earlier and start their day with a quiet time before the world wakes up. You could have time to cultivate that edge, which also gives you confidence and momentum. But, most people would rather just snooze. Here’s the thing, once you wake up later, and you’re already playing catch up, it’s a negative frequency, so to speak. Something just as simple as waking up a little bit earlier, journaling, speaking to God or the universe, or working out will start to build momentum and competence.

Dr. Tabatha: Even if you start half an hour earlier, right? Give yourself extra time to breathe and set some intentions for the day before the chaos starts.

Setting Intentions

Dr. Tabatha: What is your way of setting intentions look like? Are you journaling? Or what are you doing?

Craig: I’m so big into intentions. You have to have a focus, right? You have to be purposeful in what you do every single day.

I love to journal. I have so many different journals for different reasons. I also have a big whiteboard that I’m always writing on and I have a vision board. I’m very goal-oriented and putting stuff out there into the universe. For a while, I had been a little skeptical about manifestation, quantum, and all that energy stuff. I was always a mindset guy. But then as you know, a few months back when I was training for my marathon, and I was at a speaking engagement, I got injured and it was misdiagnosed. Turns out there was a tumor in my foot. I had surgery and got it out. 

I couldn’t physically train. Then while I was training for the New York City Marathon I had an opportunity to just show up and raise money for cancer. I was like if I’m ever going to buy into this quantum stuff and energy manifestation, what better time than now, I can’t even run. So I started to. I can’t talk about this stuff enough now. That’s when I really started to understand the power of intention and understanding that our thoughts are an electrical signal that we send out into the universe. 

And the universe, it’s not personal, right? If you have negative thoughts, the universe will give you negative results. But, if you have positive ones, you’re purposeful, intentional, and you vibrate on a high level, so to speak, then you begin to see real-time manifestations, like legitimately magic. It’s been the most beautiful thing. To be honest, all of this stuff is still kind of new to me. I’m challenged to articulate it the way I feel it and see it, but I know that it’s very real, because it’s happening for me.

Dr. Tabatha: Yeah, without a doubt. I think once you focus on things like that, the world opens up, and there’s more of it. What I found, it just magnifies, and then all of a sudden, it’s showing up in all aspects of your life, you start doing, making different choices, and decisions. All of a sudden, more positive people start showing up in your life and more opportunities. I want women to realize the power that they have, right?

You Have The Power

Craig: 100% that’s within us, right? As soon as you buy in, you start vibrating on that level of tapping into a more positive frequency and being intentional with your thoughts. As you said, when you introduced me, I think that what holds most people back is limiting beliefs. People don’t believe that they’re worthy, that they can achieve success, they can find the right partner, or have the right business. All those limiting beliefs, you were not born with. We cultivated them over time. It can come from conditioning from our parents, society, or social media. But just as easy as we cultivated limiting beliefs or negative ones, we have the ability to go in and trade the disempowering thoughts with more empowering, constructive,  and productive thoughts. 

Once we become self-aware and feel weird, it’s just feedback from the universe. You should say thank you. Once we realize that we can start implementing positive thoughts which create new beliefs, positive ones, not limiting ones, those ultimately change our behaviors and change our results in life. 

It’s so valuable to become self-aware. You don’t have to have a bad day anymore or a bad week, it could just be a bad moment. If you’re feeling a little off, it’s just a disempowerment thought and you have the ability to go in and replace it with a more empowering one that changes your beliefs.

Dr. Tabatha: If women could really figure that out and cultivate that they would be unstoppable. 

What I’ve noticed over my 46 years is that women are harder on themselves than men. They’re much more judgmental and they take things and hold them in. They don’t just let it brush off of them. 

So, I want the man’s perspective of, how do you feel self-worth, gain self-confidence, and feel like you can do these things? Because as women, I think they’re constantly judging themselves. For instance, I don’t want to go to the gym and start working out because I don’t look good. The excuses women have and that crap playing in their head, they’re just lies. 

How Do You Stop Those Lies From Playing In Your Head?

Craig: These are the billion-dollar questions. It’s so powerful, it’s so good that you’re asking them. It goes back to unworthiness. I know exactly the kind of women that you’re talking about because a lot of them are my clients. Say someone wants to lose weight and get in great shape, but they don’t even want to go to the gym to be seen in their current shape. But we have to start somewhere, right? The only person that you should care about the opinion of is the one in the mirror. If you love yourself, it’s none of our business, what other people think. All we can control is, can we make ourselves better today? Can we continuously grow a little bit each and every day? Ultimately, ask yourself, do you love yourself? And if you don’t, and you’re being honest with yourself, then it’s time to make some changes. 

The only thing scarier than making changes such as going to the gym, if you’re a little bit overweight is to stay status quo and suffer.  This thing called life is a blessing why not make the most of it? When you really get into your power, you stop caring what other people think, and you just work on yourself. If you can work on yourself each and every day you start to get momentum. You start to look better and feel better. Not only do you get physically fit, but maybe you get mentally fit, and you start to build confidence. And that’s all it takes. 

Just look yourself in the mirror and say why not. Why can’t you accomplish what you want? Lose weight, get yourself out of relationships, start a business, conquer a marathon, whatever the case may be. Once you realize that the only thing holding us back are the stories that we tell ourselves in our head, you attest to it. You can control the volume of the voice in your head. So the voice in your head can be super scary. Lower the volume and tune it out. Another thing that you can do is, disassociate that opponent in your head. Every time you resist the temptation of victimhood, feeling sorry for yourself, or having a pity party, you actually gain more spiritual light than if the voice wasn’t even there to begin with. So, start associating pleasure with the voice in your head. Once you practice resistance, you actually get stronger by continuing on and you start to build momentum. Nothing happens overnight. But, after a couple of days or weeks, all of a sudden you’re on the right track and you become addicted to the results.

Dr. Tabatha: I couldn’t agree more! You have to be consistent. Consistency creates change. You have to just start small. If you’re not ready to go to the gym, start with your mindset. You can’t heal a body you hate. A body you hate will not change into a body that you love. You first and foremost have to love yourself where you’re at, know it’s capable, and start saying different things to yourself in your head. I think looking in the mirror is a great idea. It can be uncomfortable, but you have to start somewhere. 

What is Neuro-linguistic Programming and How Do You Use It With Your Clients?

Craig: NLP is the first thing that I got introduced to when I started understanding personal development. I realized you can work on yourself and know that where you’re at now is not an indication of where you can be. You can do this by reprogramming the beliefs in your head. You can even change what you associate pain and pleasure to. 

For example, when I first got to Wall Street I was as a fish out of water. I didn’t have a ton of confidence and I was more of an introvert. To be successful requires confidence and self-belief. So I would start using NLP techniques called modeling. I would put attributes to people I held in high regard and absorbed them into myself. One of the guys that I modeled was James Bond. In my head, that guy was super cool, didn’t care about rejection, he’s assertive, and he’s got swag. By modeling some of those attributes, I was able to step out of my shell and really find myself. 

These tools and techniques can change everything for you. It can even change the way you associate pain and pleasure. For example, if you’re associating pleasure with eating crap at night and subconsciously, you don’t realize that you’re associating pleasure with that bag of Doritos every night. You can change your perspective and start associating pain to those unnecessary snacks. You could start associating pleasure with eating well, understanding nutrition, and getting yourself on track.

There’s always a choice. We can control our brain based upon the different strategies and the thoughts that we choose to keep because although thoughts are random, thinking is not. Everyone gets multiple negative thoughts over the course of the day. We have the ability to choose which ones we want to keep and which ones to replace with more empowering ones. 

Once you understand that we can take charge and control that type of stuff, your whole life changes in an instant. You start looking at the world from a completely new, healthier perspective.

Dr. Tabatha: That’s so awesome. So you need to figure out who’s the best amazing version of yourself that you want to be and start thinking about how is this person going to act and show up in the world. You need to start modeling those behaviors or find someone else that you really want to be like and start modeling their behaviors. 

How Do You Become The Best Version of Yourself?

Craig: For example, back to the James Bond analogy, right? Start studying this guy. How does he walk into the boardroom? Does he have a swag? Yes, he does. What would be the quality of his thoughts? Let’s say he was making a sales call and somebody rejected him. Would that ruin his day? No, he would move on. So you have to model how these people would act. 

Let’s just say someone was modeling JLo or Beyonce. They’re performers and that preparation breeds confidence. They put in the work, they show up in this world, and they don’t really take days off when they’re not feeling well. They show up messy if they have to, but they show up. This is just one tool, but if you really buy in and you’re really modeling this successful person, then all of a sudden your behaviors are going to change and be elevated. Then it just becomes conditioning. Now all of a sudden, you’re conditioned to showing up as that better version of yourself. That becomes contagious and it becomes more consistent. 

You can start today. Grab a journal and put down a couple of people that you hold in high regard on the left side of the page and on the right side of the page put some of the attributes about those people that you admire. Now you can go back into your toolbox at any time, choose someone that you want to model for different situations, and start modeling the attributes. Eventually, you’ll absorb them and you’ll start to elevate your behaviors and your characteristics. This will change everything in an instant. I think a big misconception is that change takes super long, but it really doesn’t. It’s this moment that you decide that you want to change and then you utilize the strategies.

Dr. Tabatha: You hit the nail on the head. There are so many golden nuggets. Just make the decision. I find that if I make a decision and just keep on moving forward I feel amazing and I have a ton of self-confidence. If I’m just stewing over something, not making any decisions, and going back and forth then all of a sudden I’m thinking of all the possibilities and I’m creating all of this fear and it’s toxic. 

So, yes, do what Craig is saying, write this shit down and start journaling. Once I started going through this and I started showing up messy and not even worrying about the judgment, I had a realization one day that I’m an influencer. Even if it’s only 10 people in my hometown when I’m jogging down the street it influences someone driving by who’s contemplating thinking about running again or who’s contemplating starting to work out. If I can impact that person in a positive way then that half an hour was worth it. So I think we need to own how much influence we have on our children and on our loved ones. If you’re getting healthy and you’re taking care of yourself then your partner’s more likely to be. Don’t you agree?

Craig: 100 percent and take pride in that! Do you influence people? That’s a responsibility and I look forward to that. That’s what leadership is all about. Being the leader in life is someone that walks the walk and doesn’t only talk about it but shows up. The cameras are always on. When no one’s around, you go for that run, and a couple of people see you. All of a sudden, they weren’t going to work out, but they saw you doing it, and now how can they not. We should all take pride in that as long as it’s obviously being a positive influence and making a contribution to the world. And even if you just influence one person to do one positive action, that’s a beautiful thing because it’s a ripple effect. You don’t know what that person now might do and influence someone else. So always think of yourself as a personal brand and understand that we are of influence. We can always make an impact, but that’s something to associate pleasure with, not pain.

Dr. Tabatha: Yeah, exactly. I find that the more that you are focused on pleasure while you’re doing anything, the pain will go away. That’s one of the tools I learned with meditating. You can sit there and focus on your discomfort, and they usually will go away. You can focus on the good stuff and the pain is just gone. I think it’s cultivating that mindset as you said. 

How Are You Doing This On A Bigger Scale?

Craig: If you want to scale and really make the biggest impact that you possibly can, you have to be able to serve and support more than one person at a time. If you’re going to think you might as well think big. When I started CLS, it was one on one clients. I’m sure you can understand this, it’s draining. It’s a lot of different personalities. 

I think the biggest way that I can make the biggest impact on this world is by being able to support and serve as many people as I can in one shot. That’s why I created the membership a few months back, which you’re a part of. It’s exploding with 250 people just after a couple of months and that’s what it’s all about. 

When I was younger I would do things to seek validation. If you had success in Wall Street, you get a flashy watch, or a car when you’re immature and young. As you get older and you have life experience, you realize that’s not validation. When I seek validation now it’s to be able to make an impact and to contribute to somebody’s life in a positive way. We get these testimonials every single day with someone saying, “I heard a podcast that you did or I was on your membership call and it immediately changed my perspective.” That’s what it’s all about. That’s how I crave validation these days. Knowing that we are making a huge impact and we are of influence. So as long as many people as possible are consuming the content and making positive changes, that’s what it’s all about. In order to do that,  you have to be able to scale and reach more people in one shot.

Dr. Tabatha: Yeah, for sure. I know that you must have some kind of limiting beliefs or something that makes you nervous when you step into this role because if you aren’t afraid you’re not playing big enough. 

How Do You Work Through Fear and Do Shit Anyway?

Craig: I didn’t when I first started CLS. I always wasn’t like this. I was insecure when I was younger. I had my insecurities just like anyone else. But over the last couple of years, I really started to work on my personal development and build my self-belief and confidence. I have a lot of self-belief because I know that there isn’t anything that I can’t accomplish. I just have to figure out how and obviously put in the work. 

When I started CLS, I was talking to some of these big names and celebrities and as I continued to move up and be recognized, I was a little intimidated. These people are huge celebrities and I’m new to this space. But ultimately, the more I interact with them, I gain competence by my preparation and by having great interviews. I ask them questions that people don’t usually ask them and I take pride in the homework. Now, I genuinely feel like not only do I deserve to be in these rooms but look, eye to eye with them.

I put in a lot of work over the last year and I consume content every single day. I’m always learning. All this quantum and energy stuff is new to me, but I’m consuming it every single day. We just launched the CLS Book Club, which actually starts tonight. So I’m always reading and learning content. 

Later this month, I will be on a big stage with John Maxwell and a bunch of other big names. Six months ago, that opportunity probably would have been a little intimidating. But now I’m excited to go there, support, and hopefully, do a phenomenal job. I’m excited to take the stage and there is going to be a big audience there. Right now, I don’t have limiting beliefs on anything that’s going on because over the last year, I’ve been putting in the work. 

We all have a little imposter syndrome at some point, but you let that voice talk to you, and you tell it to beat it. You just keep showing up messy and doing your thing. There’s never a perfect time and then eventually that gives you the confidence to gain experience. Then it’s not what can I do? It’s what can’t we do?

Dr. Tabatha: I hope everybody’s taking notes because this works in all facets of your life. If you want to get in shape, cook healthy food, be a good model for your children, want to excel in your job or your business. It works in every aspect, right? It’s about consistently showing up no matter what and believing in yourself. It’s about elevating your belief in what you’re capable of doing and then surrounding yourself with people who also believe in you and are doing those types of things. 

What I see with a lot of patients is their friends or husbands are unhealthy or they are stuck in a negative mindset and they can’t get out of it. Then you have to find new people to hang out with.

Who Do You Surround Yourself With?

Craig: I’m so glad that you brought that up. I was thinking last week, if I were to get married this year, who would be at my wedding? The funny part is, it would be the people that I’ve met from CLS. I’ve formed amazing relationships with the people in that community. It’s nothing personal to the people of my past. I’ve outgrown them or maybe they’ve outgrown me. We’re in different frequencies right now. I’m all about growth, personal development, positive influences, and being around support.  

Just because someone was in your life, at some point, doesn’t give them a hall pass to be there forever. Surround yourself with people that elevate you and also people that will call you out about your bullshit. You don’t want people-pleasers around you. You want people to let you know when you could do better, put more effort in, or are being lazy. Those are the type of people you want to surround yourself with. It’s a huge component to facilitate your growth. 

Dr. Tabatha: Yeah, without a doubt. Find some amazing people in your life that are focused on the same stuff you are and do it together. We weren’t meant to live this life alone. We were meant to be in a community. It used to look like a little tribe who lived within 100 feet of you, but now it’s limitless. We can be friends with people anywhere in the world. Be around those who help you grow and be your best amazing self. 

Craig: That’s the goal, right? Actually facilitate taking action and not just hearing, reading, or watching a movie like most people. For instance, all the people who go to the gym on January 1st and then two weeks later the gyms are empty again. 

I want to really strike a chord to let people know that there’s a better life out there for you if that’s what you crave. You have the ability to live the life you desire if you want it bad enough. 

So thank you so much for having me. The best part about this is this connection and I have so much love and respect for you. It was one of those rare instant connections and I’m just so grateful to have you in my life. 

Dr. Tabatha: Oh my gosh, right back at you. Thank you so much. 

Tell Me How My Audience Can Connect With You

Craig: The best place to find me is on Instagram. We have a website and membership community. And of course, anywhere you listen to podcasts, the record-breaking, The CLS Experience.

Dr. Tabatha: Yes, I love it. You’re going to love his accent and you have to listen! 

Thank you so much, Craig, you’re awesome, and let’s do this again.

Craig: This is definitely just the beginning for us. Thank you for having me. 

That’s a Wrap

I hope you love Craig as much as I do. He is a juggernaut. He uses that word to describe his podcast guests because they are a force to be reckoned with, but he definitely is in that category as well. He inspires me to step out of my comfort zone, reach for the stars, think bigger, and dream bigger because I am on a mission to help women reclaim their health. I’m on a mission to help you have radical self-acceptance and self-love. You need to understand this is about you and you doing the work. I will guide you, give you the tools, and bring the Juggernaut people, but you have to show up for you and do the work yourself. 

So show up for yourself today. Journal and start taking action. Indecision breeds fear and anxiety. When you decide to do something, it propels you forward and you just do it. If you make a decision and just do it and stop contemplating, you’re going to get somewhere. Whatever that New Year’s resolution is that you had if it’s starting to peter out at this point, bring new life into it. Sit down, journal, write what it is that you want out of your life, what you want you to look like, physically, mentally, emotionally, how you want to show up in the world, and how you want people to describe you.

If you died tomorrow, what would they say about you at your funeral? Who would be at your funeral? You should take some time to think about that stuff because it matters. It creates mindfulness in how you live your life as opposed to the mindlessness that a lot of us are living, myself included. That’s what I did for over a decade. I was on the hamster wheel and I was living a mindless life because I was in survival mode. I was just trying to take care of my patients, keep my body physically moving, and see my children as much as I could. That isn’t how we’re meant to be. 

God created us to live out a purpose. Maybe that purpose is that you are a connector and you’re supposed to bring people together. Or maybe it’s that you are a dog rescuer and you are supposed to be here to take care of all the poor dogs in the world. You can’t focus on your purpose, figure it out, or work on it if you’re in survival mode. 

Get unstuck and do something different today. Pick out your favorite golden nugget for today and really start to revamp who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to feel and it will happen for you.  

I want you to reach out and message me about what you decided to do. How are you showing up differently? What is the person that you want to become? Tell me about her! I want to hear all about it.